Local boyfriend Mathew Banks told News From Last Thursday this week that he could not be more excited to have some “quality time” with girlfriend Amanda Gerber, so he could find out what would happen in the epic conclusion of the extended daydream that he’d been having over the past couple nights. 

According to our reporters Banks climbed in to bed with Gerber as soon as his astronomy lab let out, getting only two items in to her day before letting his mind’s eye drift off the to the mythic plains of Iracile, where a battle for control of the roots of the World Tree was being waged. As of last night, just as Amanda had started seguing in to sexual activity, the assembled army of the Alliance of Koloth had just made a cavalry push in to the heart of Archmage Jorval’s elite guard.

Banks says he enjoys “just lying” with his girlfriend of eleven months, recalling a time two weeks ago when Gerber was having problems with her sister, in which Banks had imagined what it would be like to be CEO of Papa John’s pizza in exhaustive detail. Unfortunately, just as Banks was mentally spearheading a new ad campaign for his “Fireworks Poppers” (Fried mozzerala sticks with jalapenos and Frank’s hot sauce) Gerber had asked “You know?” and broken his reverie.

Banks told our reporters after Gerber went to sleep that just as the battle was reaching its height, and the Champion’s Bridge was groaning under the weight of the ethereal snow Jorval summoned from nowhere, Gerber had asked him “Which of my body parts is your favorite?” and cruelly ripped Banks back to reality.