Vocal performance major Harold Chen has been passive aggressively singing ever since no one asked him to be a singing telegram for Valentine’s Day. Discarding renditions of “How Deep is the Ocean (How High is the Sky)” and “When a Man Loves a Woman,” Chen has been haunting his friends in relationships with break-up songs every time they have small fights. “Bye-bye-bye,” he sang, beatboxing in the backbeat while performing a small choreographed routine in which he gives the finger to both parties when they are not looking.  

One of Chen’s friends and current victims, Kaley Greene, divulged the reason why they chose not to request Chen’s services: “The day before Valentine’s day he was singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston. We thought he was making some kind of sick joke.”

“Yeah, he started singing a Whitney Houston medley and all we could think was ‘too soon Harry,’” said Parker Washington, barely audible over Chen’s performance of “Love Will Tear Us Apart.” Other friends that preferred not to be named added that he does “this weird falsetto thing.”

At one point, it became hard to discern whether or not Chen was in fact yelling or singing “Fuck you” at his friends but the general consensus was that it didn’t matter and that they’d just steer clear of him for a little while. “He’s so Emotional,” said Greene.

In response, Chen indignantly yelled, “I will survive.”